Life - a solitary journey; jumbled yet to take shape thoughts from me...


It was a home alone day for me and I was left with more than 5 hours on my own. That's pretty rare happening.  I started to do things, I enjoyed most.  After almost a decade, I dusted a book that used to be my favourite, a romance novel. I used to love the kisses, hugs and gentle love making scenes in that book. But guess I grew up and I quit reading it today after 25 pages.

I started to browse my computer on random topics.  Opened up merriam-webster and learnt 32 new words, 
later tweeted, blogged, sketched. I do all this almost everyday but what new? I usually do one of these activities but today but I did all of them, without any interruptions, disturbance.

To achieve these results, as a first thing I decided to keep my mobile away.  As such, no one messages me unless I text them. Except for one or two of my friends and occasional messages to my husband, even I don't text. Now that my cell phone was out of the way, (I set it in loud mode, in case someone tries to reach me, It did not happen and I realised that none of my dear ones are in grave danger and started to relax after the first hour.) I could concentrate better. Gave a pep talk to myself, if someone needs a chat they will call or message, now go and enjoy your rare freedom. Phew! the addiction to that little device. 

These five hours made me realise, the importance of time and how many activities one can squeeze within that time frame and also those rare monologues and talking to yourself sessions.  Quite refreshing, I should say.

Life is a journey of an individual, who had his entry alone and leaves alone. 

Viji's monologue:

  • If you think you are helping a friend and he/she cannot survive without you that is foolishness.  They are perfectly happy without you. They don't need your assistance 24/7, they like you as a friend and that is all.
  • Friendship/relationship/companionship, is beautiful but it is not consistent. More than men, women make the mistake of taking it quite seriously and when it lags a little, feel as if the world turned down.  
  • A small test, will make you realise if you are taking things more seriously than it ought to be.  Count the number of invites you gave and refusals or postponement you received.  Count the number of invites you received and refusals and postponement from your end.
  • If yours exceed them, then you are perfectly happy. But, if it is other way round, then it is time you should be selfish too and nothing like giving reins to your ego, it will perfectly drive you to sanity.
  • Affection and love is addictive, but it comes without a statutory warning. I feel that this is more hazardous and self injurious than any other addiction.  Maybe, I might sound little pessimistic but I am talking about what you deserve and what you get.  Everyone deserve their freedom but with a modest dose of love and affection.  If it exceeds, that is when things become ugly. Shouting matches, calling names, swearing words and bitterness.  Who wants it?  The relationship that is most quoted for love is between a mother and her daughter/son. Even the kids demand space don't they? 

Why am I talking about this?  

Couple of months back, I had a fight too, when I demanded something I thought I deserved. The reply I got shocked me. I was told to pick a weakling and mould that person as I wish.  That moment, I felt as if I stepped on something really nasty.  I told myself even the most revered relationships, however long the relationships are, when provoked, say unpardonable things that might break your heart. This incident taught me that, 'space' is something that I should give, be it my husband, my son or my friends. Not that they are bad, but they are not you.  They don't demand your attention all the time, but you give them the undivided attention and expect the same from them.  Too much love or attention is like forcing others to take a box full of their favourite sweet at one go.  They might end up hating it.

Action taken:

  1. I stopped pushing
  2. I started to take nos the same way, I used to take yes.  
  3. Making mental notes, how to keep myself happy and cheerful.  That doesn't mean I turned into a martyr. But, now I realised I am the best company, I can ever have.  Again, you have to raise yourself to the level when you desire the tete-a-tete with you.  I read a lot, watch what I feel is informative and those long solitary walks during the weekends.
Now, has things changed? 

There you go!  What should change? Everything is perfect. The change should happen within you and others are not your problem. 

What's the next exercise? 

Practice to talk less but talk sense.  

This is going to be really tough for a chatterbox like me.  Facebook is another friend with whom I chat loads and I checked my timeline today, I was taken aback, when I saw my silly status messages laughing at me.  

Moral:  We cannot expect someone to accompany us all the time.  A good company is always welcome, but now that 'sati' is banned, we can't drag our spouses to our funeral pyre you see... :P 

Give peace and get peace too!

viji suresh

Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard. Google

2 Candles:

2grish said...

solitary journey....nicely written. Thanks i learned a lot today

2grish said...

Solitary Journey- very nice and thanks. I learned something that I need to ask myself from now onwards

wisdom comes with experience

At one, I learnt crawling was fun. At forty one, I still feel crawling is fun #blamemykneesnotme