Friends

Friday, April 15, 2011 4 Comments




My blog is celebrating friends this week.

Universal laws on friendship:

Friends whatever shape, size, age enjoy fighting, hugging, smiling, crying, gossiping....

Even after long silences, disappearances friends can pickup threads anytime..

Few questions I had and my friends answers:

I sent two text messages to few of my friends.  Here is the content of those messages and their response.
How long does it take to make friends? Can you give me two instances where you felt comfy and close to a person in less than a moment after you got introduced and a friend where it took months/years to get close.  Who is closer to you now? The friend you made in a moment's time or a year?  Can you really trust your life with a friend? For eg: You are going abroad, you forgot a medicine which is mandatory for you to live.  Will trust a friend to buy it and hand it over to you in the airport or will you hurry and buy it yourself?
If it's not too much to ask how would you define a friend? Your friend?

okie peeps! here I publish my friends thoughts on friends and friendship...

Manoj:


"A friend over the year. Yes, I will trust my life with a friend.  But once again this in from my perspective.  Will change from person to person.  For me it takes time to make one, but once made remains for years. Samy is one friend I made in an instant but got close over a period of time. You also I got close over time. Not in an instant and will remain close for years."The beauty of friendship can be anyways.... it can be made in a moment or years... can be anything and everything.
For me a friend is someone, I totally depend on and one who can depend on me.  On whom I can demand anything and one who can demand anything from me.  I have very few friends... Samy, Arun and you.  That's it.... Others are just acquaintances.

Prabodh:


How long does it take to make a friend?

Depends, Sometimes it takes a moment and sometimes it takes years and.

Who is closer to you know?
It is very natural for my wife to be my closet friend,….but still I don’t include her in this list .It will be my School friends.

The friend u made in moments time and In a year?
Purna (My school friend from UKG but become my friend in college ….Instead I spoke to him for first time in college :D ): It took less than a hour to be his friend forever.
Yesha ( My X Colleague )

Can U trust your life with friend?
Deft. I can (and to some my closet friend I have shared my Cr. Card details also J )

Define Friend?
Happiness, Jadoo ki Jaapi (Hugging tight),Sharing, Bank, Love, Pulling each other legs, Unlimited Fun, Be with u in your worst time to share your tear or share the best moment of your life, Talking whole night and still having enough patience to talk more, Eating Maggie @ 2am ,24x7 Advice channel, Standing together in Principals office, Teasing you and still understanding your first love , Talking movies, Playing (cricket,volley,TT), waking up @ 3 in night to say I am not getting sleep, Laughing uncontrollably till your stomach hurts and tears are out , Traveling around , boozing (Sharing a quarter) ,Partying all night, Standing their as one of your  family member……………………………………and so many things viji ( Each and every point I have defined here is what my friends are …and I am lucky to have the best friends ever and most of them forever in spite wherever we go………can’t thank god for more than that ) Love my friends.

Nami:

  1. Well I hate to drag him into this but Ram was one person I took months to like and have him as my best friend.  Though he has been given an up gradation in my life now, he still remains the closest and best'est' friend of mine.  The other person is Prabodh.  Took me months and maybe a year and half to make him a close and dear friend of mine.  The friend I made in a year thought the ones I made in moments hold a very special place and are the most unforgettable people.  You can trust your life with a friend, with respect to your example.  I would prefer getting it for myself.  But if circumstances are such that it cannot be done by me, then I would entrust it up on my friend.
  2. Friend would be a bum chum who would quietly share a dish prepared by me and irrespective of how horribly it tastes, he/she would still compliment it :) and encourage me to cook more :) On a serious note, friend would be somebody to whom you could vent out all your frustration and happiness (I know that's clichéd but that's the way I see it) without any expectations... that person who would be on your mind first when you think of sharing something good/bad...

"Phew!! you got my thinking nerves into action! phhbtt!"



2.  Hmmm... I'll define friend as a belief and an extension of famly.  Just like how a family cannot leave a person even though he or she is bad.  Friend also should stand by your side at the time.  You hear a bad thing about me, you gotta come to me and ask and then I should be feeling comfortable to tell him even if I did something wrong.

Priya:

1. Two friends... One whom I made in a very less time and he made me comfy and the first time I spoke to him, I knew he would be my good friend.  In another instance it took years still I can't call her my best friend. So it differs from person to person.  If I think of a person, I would trust him/her wih my life, leave alone the medicine.  There are ones who needn't tell that they care for me I really feel them.  I'm lucky here I got 7 of them - Gokul. Hari, Manoj, Nami, Satheesh, Sundar, Viji.
2. Friend: Who understands that you are not well or hurt or upset even if you act that you are alright.

Shankar:


Tough to answer Viji, but I can trust him/her to buy life saving medicine when needed.
A person whom I can depend upon.


Ani: 

     2. Nanben da!!! ( Friend / meaning of the word 'friend')


Hari:

I would really be close with the ones with whom I have been in touch for a long time... not really with the ones who became friends in a short time.  I would definitely believe my friend to get the tablets rather than me doing it.
A few close people who knows, who I am exactly.

Krishnan:

"Viji, I became close with my friends at the very initial meetings.  I became a close friend of Siva after I met him, may be thrice.  There are few friends, who got closer to me after a period of  time.  I am closer to both the types.  I trust my friends."

Added on 17th April 2011

Me: Thought of answering my questions.... an afterthought....

Seconds, minutes to get acquainted, but to make friends it takes months then years.  Family are those who leap in an instant and be with you during tough and easy times, but we take them for granted... why? 

When a friend do the same thing as your sibling or wife do, we appreciate it more than the family? is it justified? when it comes to a friend even when you are tired, you leap and do it, while pulling a long face and complaining tiredness to the family. Why?

Coz family are people who are related to us by birth and it is not unnatural for them to shower affection and be with you during difficult or easy times.

Friends, who do not have a clue on how you looked when you were born, whether you are rich or poor or brilliant or dumb don't count.  They see you as a friend and other things are pushed behind. Its sheer luck to have a friend who does not have an inkling about you but still care for you the way your family does.

For me it took years to make friends... 

Kanaks, friends from my school days, she calls me, meets me and keeps in touch with me all these years, even when I faced tough times in my life and busy days.. holding even more responsible position than mine, she finds all the time in the world to talk to me and keep in touch with me and I feel guilty for not volunteering the call or meeting. 

Manoj my best and closest friend, just thinking about him brings a smile and waves of affection and nothing matters and literally i did trust him when it came to life saving medicines not once but twice and will continue to trust him in future.  He worries about my health, about my career, about my family, about my losing weight more than me... I trust him with my debit and credit cards and he trusts me with his....He was the one who initiated to bring Viji out of her shell.  I used to be very reserved and didn't trust men in general.  Manoj was my first follower in my blog, he was the one to criticize open that the poetry I wrote lacks feelings and "stick - in - the -mud" types.  Those harsh criticisms made me write better.  I can't thank him enough for everything but since he doesn't like thanking... here I stop! 

Shiv though years younger to me, it took just few meetings, few months to become his friend. he brought in few changes in me in just few months which I doubt i would have ever achieved in my life time if I had not met him... thanks to him for pointing out facts and fictions and the fun in breaking the f(act)ictitious wall I tried to build around myself. Amazing guy! Be it music, a Java program, friendship his passion is just amazing... I want to see you as a great musician one day! But no! I wouldn't trust him with my life saving medicine, as if there is an issue or a bug in his coding he will forget the medicine, viji and the whole world... but still I would love him no less...I know lots of "fews" when I describe him but he is a friend I made in record time.

How to define a friend?

For me Friend is just not a person, I can rely on (like in A/C, Refrigerator, Electricity)... Friend is someone who can bring a smile or tear when I am stuck in Antarctica wearing a thin t - shirt and torn jeans or stuck in Sahara desert with miles and miles of sand dunes with half a bottle of water or standing on the tall peaks of Scotland/Tibet without a map.  Just the thought of Manoj, Shiv, Kanaks will make me fight the roughs and hurry up to meet them again and I am damn sure I will fight and nothing can keep me parted away from my friends.... 

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Why should I vote?

Thursday, April 14, 2011 0 Comments

Tamil Nadu Assembly Election - 2011


"Should I vote? All the political parties are corrupted, I am planning to skip voting this time." We hear these lines every election and grumbling we go and vote in the scorching sun.

First time in Tamil Nadu 75-80% of voters exercised their franchise in the TN Assembly elections.  Chennai recorded 66%.

Two political parties always dominated Tamil Nadu assembly.  It's either one of the these parties that rule.  Both of them are close competitors when it comes to corruption, bribes, scams... the only choice we were left for is which bad is better bad... To identify the better bad, we start to scan the last 10 years.  This job was easy for us, as both the parties and their aligned parties own TV channels which continuously played and replayed each other corruptions. 

The scholars and well educated side carefully chose the candidates who has good education, morale and goals.  While others measured their side by checking on which film star does the campaigning and who gives them money or freebies to vote.

The ruling party, has loads of money to spend as they recently pocketed millions and millions in a scam, while the opposition party believing that they would win the election, promise freebies that will be delivered if they win this time.

We are caught in a maze here,  I had my doubt on which party to vote, there was one particular guy whom I wanted to vote, "do it" types and stood as an independent candidate.  But when I thought about it little loud, I found out that voting him may not be the correct thing, as I want the current government to be out of power.  

Every night at 10 PM in the night the power will go for 15 mts in our area and I knew what was happening at this time.  Whenever I saw 10 ambulances and police vans screaming its head off, I have an idea what's happening and I wanted to put an end to it.  The final thing that made up my mind was when our neighbor shouted at a party person for forcing money in his hand.  He yelled asking the party worker to get out of his house. 

The only sensible thing to do is vote the opposition party, because the opposition party leader had some guts and did few good things... rain water harvesting, against govt employees strikes, .  But still not convinced and what's the guarantee that they would not become like the current ones and again her attitude, not a seasoned politician...

So, why should I vote?

To speak my mind, to stop something that's unjust, to start something new (in the belief it will be better than what exists now) , for my community and for my child, for my Country to develop, to prove that still some democracy is left.






What do I want?

I want my country, free of corruptions, nothing should be free,  people should earn enough money to pay for things they want, strict leaders who can exercise discipline and make India a cleaner, greener, richer country.

Life saving medicines and surgeries should be available for everyone and quality care should be extended in the Government hospitals.  I had seen a case, where the people in mortuary refused to give the diseased body, till the kin paid some money, the family fumbling for cash to pay.






I want my country where there is no black market, no smuggled goods, no video piracy, no groceries black marketed from the fair price shops (ration shop) and sold in higher rates.  I don't want to see the Chief Minister's photograph on top of even pepper and cardamom packet distributed in the ration shop. Dammit! we pay for it and you are not giving it for free and even if its distributed for free, it's not your money.  I don't want to see every movie being released is marketed, produced and distributed by one or other member of the CM's family.

I don't want Anna Hazare to fast unto death for everything.  And let's not start a committee that tend to  drag for years.  

Please dear politicians let us not beg, let's have a corruption free India!

Still having the confidence and belief, I set to vote under merciless sun minus shades, water, fans and dim lit polling centers cobwebs and bats hanging above our heads, senior citizens rushing past in gatherings (my mom and her friends inclusive, no separate counters for them) I voted after 2 hours wait.  Don't ask me if I'm happy to cast my vote... It happens! No happy faces!  

My mind clouded with doubts still not convinced, I headed home.  One more month to know the results... anything can happen, the EVM can get corrupted, the danger of tampering, yet we optimist folks wait patiently...

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Night that followed the third day

Sunday, April 03, 2011 , , , 4 Comments



Abhi asked himself again as the 3 days he gave for himself was about to end.

The other day when he kissed Kavya, she stopped him when he lost control.  He was grateful for that.  What if something happened between them.  He shuddered at the thought.  He suddenly realised he was 5 years younger to her.

Am I in love with Kavya? (The face of the new girl who joined his office that day came before him and he hurriedly pushed this question to the back of his mind)
"I like her a lot.  She is a damn good friend of mine. I don't want to lose her friendship ever." 
 
If I quit the job this moment and leave the city and severe all the connections with her, will I miss her?
"No! true friendship doesn't mind distances... missing each other can never happen in friendship... we will always keep in touch"

Even if she is willing to marry me, can I convince my parents and get married to a divorced woman and never regret the decision?
This question does not arise.
 
There was only thing in Sam's mind during the whole day and it was to save Kavya from the rude reality.  He didn't bother about himself.  He went to the hospital and saw the boy's parents sobbing uncontrollably.  They were taking the boy home.  Sam slowly went and stood before them with folded hands.  He couldn't speak.
 
The boy's mom hurled words at him and started to curse.  Sam stood there and listened to every word lashing at him.  He didn't flinch.  After 15 mts of abuse, she started to cry again.  Sam looked at Sanjay's dad and told him, "God didn't bless me with a child.  But I can understand your mysery coz, I know how my mom and dad used to fret when I had a small headache... Sir, please tell me whatever you want. I know I can't give back your son but I will be a son to you and carry out all your wishes and will take care of you both till my last days.  You might think, I am saying all this to save my wife.  That's true in a way.  I was about to divorce her.  But I now realise, I love her more than anything else in this world.   She is suffering, she is down with guilt and she had not come out of the room since yesterday.  I know only time can heal her.  And, I doubt if time can heal your tragedy."
 
The boy's dad looked at Sam told him,  "You can leave now.  Tell your wife she is free to make more accidents, for all I care.  The only reason, I am not going to the police station to open the case again coz nothing is going to bring my son back. I don't need any favour from you. Earlier I accepted your help as I was not rich and I was doubtful if I'd be able to give the best treatment to Sanjay.  Now nothing remains to be done. My wife need not get up early in the morning to prepare breakfast, she need not stay awake during nights to prepare midnight snacks and tea, no exam pressure, nothing.... nothing at all. We will spend the remaining days thinking about our son and will look forward to the day we will get united with him in heaven." Saying that he started to cry and Sam couldn't stop tears from his eyes.  Whether they needed him or not, he was there with them the whole day... It was almost 2 in the afternoon and he realised that Kavya is alone at home.  He called Sheela and gave her the news and asked her to be with Kavya till he comes back home.
 
Sheela knocked the door and found it open.  She couldn't find Kavya in the bedroom or living room.  She called out her name and heard a feeble moan coming from inside the bathroom.  Sheela rushed inside the bathroom to find Kavya lying down on a pool of blood.
 
Sheela called Ambulance and then called Sam.  Sam rushed to the hospital to find Kavya in the operation theatre getting operated.  Kavya's dad and mom where there and they signed the consent form as it was an emergency surgery and they couldn't wait for him.  That was a deep slit in her wrists and doctors were trying hard to extract the broken glass pieces from her wrists.  It was around 6 PM the doctor told Sam that Kavya is safe and he can just see her for a minute.  Sam went in, looked at her and there was only one question in his mind, "Why Kavya?"
 
He was scared to step inside his house.  He automatically straightened everything and finally gathered the courage and stepped inside the bathroom.  The huge mirror was broken and everywhere there was blood stains....
 
He came to the living room and sat on the sofa and it was then he noticed a stick pad stuck on the tea table, in Kavya's hand writing dated the day before... it read "Sam! you deserve a better wife, a wife who can carry your child and who can make you happy... I will somehow will make this happen, but the sight of knife or sleeping pills gives me a scare :) ... But I will somehow gain courage and will make this happen..."
 
"Why the hell, didn't I read this yesterday? How did she gain the courage? He knew the answer himself... the boy's death....
 
"I love you Kavya", he shouted but the strong sea breeze didn't carry those words to his wife... She turned and asked, "Sammy did you say something?"
 
"Yepp! the sea is blue and so are you... blue becomes you! and did I ever tell you that I love you?"
 
"Yeah! only 14 times today." she said laughing. "Samuel Livingston... I wanna be your daughter during my next birth... I wanna be your wife, your mom, your dad, your sister... I want to be everything to you... I can never love you enough... Yeah! I know I am greedy". 
 
"Oh! drat Christians don't believe in rebirth... Maybe you will not be a Christian during your next birth..." Kavya started to giggle... 

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Third day

Sunday, April 03, 2011 , , , 0 Comments




When Abhi looked at the time it was 11.30 AM.  He kicked himself for doing what he did to Kavya. He was staring at the entrance and saw the usual shuttle entering the office doors. People got down and walked towards the office.

His eyes narrowed, when he saw a girl walking towards the office. "Is she new to office? I've never seen her before..." he thought.  The tall girl looked stunning.  He couldn't take her eyes off her.

He rushed to the elevator, went down and walked towards the lobby and found the girl sitting there as he expected.  He picked a newspaper and pretended reading it, while his eyes looking sideways and scanning the girl's look.  He saw the HR person approaching the girl and took her inside the office.  As he guessed the girl should be a new employee joining today.

He pretended to read 2 more pages, when he saw the boy's photograph in obituary column. His eyes clouded and his mind went back to Kavya. He felt sorry for her.

Kavya, her eyes swollen, was staring at the ceiling fan and she couldn't believe she killed a child.  Wish she had the courage to kill herself.  She didn't want to live either.  She expected the police to arrest her any moment.  She was terribly scared about it and looked at the side table which had a kitchen knife and three strips of sleeping pills. But she didn't have the courage to pick or use them.  She told herself, "I didn't want to add more troubles to Sam's life.  He had enough by getting married to me."  

She thought of all the troubles they had faced in all these eight years.

Their wedding to start with, when she was not able to conceive a child, the check up with the gynecologist and the result was not in her favour.  She was shattered when she knew that she had some medical issues in conceiving a child.  He was there every moment with her.  

But Kavya realised today that she was the one who grew distant and moved away from him.

Sam after spending the whole night at the hospital, with the boy's parents came home to find Kavya huddled on the bed and swaying to and fro. He knew that she was frightened.  But he knew that it was time to break the news to her.  After giving her some dinner he gently told her about the boy's death and she went still and then wild, started to curse herself.

He called the doctor and after a shot of sedative she started to sleep.  Sam couldn't sleep, he was not sure what would be the next action from the boy's side.  "Would they take action against Kavya? if so how can I protect Kavya from all this?" His body went cold with fear when he thought about Kavya getting arrested. "I won't let that happen," he told himself and slowly dialed the boy's father number.  His hands shook as he dialed, he didn't know what to tell the grieving dad but he had to make sure that there is no case against Kavya.

- to be continued


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