Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Kids of 70s, 80s and 90s


Through centuries kids has been kids. Born in 70s I had witnessed kids of 80s, 90s and millennium.

Starting with a statutory warning, I am not judging and this post is only an observation from a 70s kid.

70s kids

1. We had company.  When we walk down the street we bumped on friends or bullies. The physical them. For survival we made more friends that led to more enemies, (friend's enemies ours too). We took sides, we made some promises, broke some. We crossed our fingers, when we lied. We ran down the street to welcome grand parents, uncles, aunts, unburdened them of their cloth bags or baskets and carried them, wondering about why the bag was heavy and if any sweets, toffees, or if we're too lucky the multi coloured striped rubber balls resting in a corner of the bag.  We shift restlessly till they go to the loo, wash their face, hands, legs, what not...talking all the time to parents, sipping coffee.  We wait not too patiently like a Stork. And when they call your name, you run and stand next to them.  They will remove things one by one and finally hand us a newspaper wrap, that may have some candies or pull the much awaited ball out. We rush out to show the ball eagerly to our friends and they all stretch their hands to receive the ball to admire.   In less than a minute they will start throwing the ball and you go behind them shouting not to and slowly the hours stretch as we play. By night you hijack the torn ball home in the well worn half pant pocket.

2.  With a spring, we were ready to walk any distance.  We just needed a reason to be outdoors and going to nearby chettiar kadai to get 200 grams mustard and 1/4 kg sugar for a 10 paise commission was enough incentive. The ultimate luxury being hiring (h)our cycle and trying to manage the huge bicycle with Monkey pedal. The parents didn't put curfew for their children to play outside, there were kidnappers, murderers, rapists, psychos lurking but it never stopped us from roaming around. Parents asked the children to be careful but they didn't try to instill fear in them.  The children were bold, independent.  All children read together, there were no special schools, we never knew terms like hyperactive, attention deficit etc. There were only three types, intelligent, mediocre, dumb.

3.  If you caught cold, you weren't rushed to hospitals.  There were only 4 vaccines small pox vaccination, DPT, BCG, polio drops.  Once in a year medical checkup in school, the doctor will do eye test just by examining our eyes with torch, check if you have vaccine marks, you were made to remove the uniforms and made to stand with shimmies (shifts) as we used to call then. Boys were checked in different rooms most of them bare chested clutching at their half pants, some of the boys who forget to wear their briefs, their face transparent and their fear  evident, "what if?" I remember there was this element of fear, excitement around.  Flu and malaria was common and we in general used to feel jealous of kids who get typhoid.  Typhoid somehow was looked at as a posh word and taking 15 days leave was really a boon.  The most feared disease was Diphtheria.

4. Ponds or Gokul sandal talcum and in summer days Nycil was the only cosmetics we knew of.  Our hairs parted and combed with oil, our talcum coated faces smeared along with the oil was a common scene.  A lifebuoy soap cut into two pieces lasted almost a month.  We all sang loud while taking bath, our voices gurgling with water poured by a mug, was enchanting.

5.  We never bothered to wash fruits, we brush it on our skirts or trousers and take a bite and offer to
friends, they turn it the other side and take a bite.  Somewhere it all get mixed up.  Moms kept sugar, jaggery on the loft, but we try to take it during noon when they sleep and though we are careful to place it exactly as we took, the CB CID mothers when they wake up, they will turn and ask, "Who opened the sugar dabba?" And we wonder how they knew?

6. When once in 6 months or so visit your native village, eager to meet friends whom you made during past summers, hijacking some gifts some broken toys, withered balls, an old shirt of yours or a broken steel torch light, pencils and feel the happiness spread inside you, when their faces beam with joy.  It is also quite normal, the next day you fight with them and ask the gifts back.  You fight, you make it up.  You walk in the paddy field holding a bunch of leaves like actress Sridevi and try to rehearse the sway of hips and sing, "sendhurapoovae sendhurapoovae, jillendra kaatrae en mannan engae en mannan engae nee konjam sollayo?".  Taking bath in the pump set with cousins and shyly watch if your boy watches you.  The boy who shows attention is Kamal Haasan to your eyes and Nambiar to the other boys.

Years moves on.... You step into 80s...

To be continued









Happy Birthday, Akka!



There are times when you are in a haste, slip to mention important people in your life, who made an impact.

Life has to be celebrated, when it deserves celebration.  To be mourned, when it deserves mourning.

It was on 2nd September, 1994, I stepped in to my husband's home for the first time.  A new bride, stepping with lots of love, hope, expectations, fear.  I was that.  The first one and half month was heaven, life went peaceful for all of us.  Later it was a tough period for all of us, with my mother in law's hospitalization and passing away.

For any bride in India, this can be considered an ill omen.   She can be taunted, troubled with remarks that can hurt for the life time.  Yes! there were couple of such remarks that did hit the mark then.  But, today when I look at it, I don't think those comments were meant to hurt me.  It was their loss of a dear one, passing away without much warning.  Even these trivial remarks were wiped away by my immediate family... i.e. my husband and two sisters.  They protected me, were by my side and made sure that I was safeguarded from the wags of tongue, till it was safe enough to venture out.



The small family that consisted of two sisters, my husband and me (Sucheeth, Supriya were kids.  Balaji, Rupal and Arvind were born and getting ready to enter our family.. Anirudh, Akshaya, Hiyaa yet to make their presence felt in this world :D).  Losing their father barely a year back didn't make this loss easy for them.  But,  the love they showered on me without any reservations is what I can always remember easily even after 22 years of my married life.

So, about this birthday girl.  What is so special about her?  Hemalatha the 24x7 sweet smiling woman, with a spirit that matches the infants.  Enthusiastic, always game for challenges, fighting them all and what more! Winning every one of these challenges.

The hospitality I always received at her home,  I doubt I can ever match her in the way she fed us,rather plied us with sweets, food, juices, savories.  By god, we always leave her home as if we were about to burst in our seams.

Hemalatha akka for me:

an optimist; a vibrant woman with loads of smile
a great intellect, who can carry conversations effortlessly even if it is PM of India.
an arts lover
a sport lover
someone who never shies of competition infact thrives on them.
a woman with great sense of humour; infact I love the harmless sarcasm in it.
someone blessed with a great voice, be it singing or reading news in AIR.
A mother hen for all of us, as I mentioned early, very protective and her love for everyone of us without any reservations is really astounding.

I could have neglected the fourth paragraph, on this auspicious day but for me it's all about people sticking by your side during tough times and not just during happy times.  It is not just Hemalatha akka, it's the family Deepa my other sister and my husband Suresh.  It's not too easy, to lose their mom, it was time for them to mourn but they sheltered me is something that made me love this family, with all my heart.  I may not be the person to express my love in words.  I always write about feelings and very rare I write about people.  But,  I wanted to today.  You might be sitting in a cabin at your office, far away akka, but I want you to know that you are here in all our hearts.

I would like to wish you a very happy Birthday, in my own way and my own style. A small poetry for you.

When monotony turns life in to boredom,
You looked at ways to celebrate the life,
Finding joy in simplest things,
Finding joy in multitudes and sharing them.

It's not easy, to smile always,
But, your name brings only your smiles to our minds..
People change, but you remain, the usual self.
The energy you absorb from, you give us back in multitudes.

Life has a knack to throw a curve at you,
You are equipped to handle it without a sway.
Taking a stride, that threatens some
The stride, that protects some..

I admire the way you live your life,
A world that you created for you and for us all..
Where you lead, love and cherish
A clan that your fiercely guard.

Happy Birthday, Super woman! May god bless you and all of us! Have a beautiful day and a successful year ahead!

It is good to be quiet...

It was good to be quiet,
Let mind fly,
Those narrow paths in the wild...

It felt good to be withdrawn,
Let thoughts fly,
Unreachable heights...

It feels good to feel detached,
Dwell deeper inside,
Guided by the soul to safer plains...

You are alive, you are dead,
I feel the loss,
Worship the treasure you left...

My days I spend thinking of the wealth,
I live, I lost,
Few battles, few titles...

What I never owned,
I can never,
But, guard it like a owner in a secret tower...

It is good to be quite,
Lost in the silence,
My reminiscences heard within me...

It feels good to feel,
the pain withdrawn,
From a wound that doesn't exist anymore...

It feels good to see the lives,
From the footprints, sprang alive
The lives torn from inside.... 
fresh at times, crushed sometimes,
But rising up every time with vigour and power...

I promise to be the land,
When crushed, hold and comfort,
When sprung alive, to look and smile...

It is good to be quite,
Lost in the silence,
My reminiscences heard within me...

The key in your hand


When you have the key in your hand,
Key to cheer up my melancholic mind,
When you have the power in your wand,
Power to wash the sadness twined...

Why do you add more coal?
To the bright burning pyre.
Why to utter kind words?
That's hurtful than a sharp spear...

Words I tried to swallow with force,
Biting my lips to seal them in...
Tears restrained creeping through Shores,
Tearing at the rock sweeping in...

Do you understand the spoken fears?
The fear of living without love
Do you understand those shed tears?
The fear of a woman filled with love.

I have decided to end this pain hard,
Gently withdraw the needle that's stuck.
Will shove into the hole a hot iron rod,
Waiting for the breath to hit and spurt.

I don't have the urge to move on,
I don't have the wish to live...
Can I call you selfish for moving on?
Am I selfless wanting you to stay on?

~ an old wives tale



Memories




Living in our memories and when I think about you, I can't believe you are not with us.

Life throws us the worst surprises and 31st of May 2013, I received the most ugliest surprise of all. I am still not able to come to terms of your leaving this world.

Every time I see your grand daughter I wish you are there to see her pranks and I wish she had her grandpa to play with, talk to.  I wish you were there when your son got his highest salary paid, I wish you were with him when he was missing you with no one to share his pains. I wish you were there to see your daughter getting the award on stage, I wish you were with her during her tough times and I wish you were with her when she started the new job. I wish you were here for everyone at your home, for all your friends. I wish you were here and I wouldn't have thought writing this post.

When I entered today into your office room and saw a emptt writing pad and just flipped through, there half way through, I saw couple of pages written and I read those pages of an incomplete story. Somehow I got my answer for a "why" I always had about God.  The incomplete story with an answer.

I remember you today, not as a faded image but a kind, lively, spirited man. I remember you today as a daughter not biological one though, wishing I had lot more years with you. And I pray, please be with your kids and love them as you always did and if possible come back to the family one way or other. We all miss you!

wisdom comes with experience

At one, I learnt crawling was fun. At forty one, I still feel crawling is fun #blamemykneesnotme