A letter to my future daughter-in-law

Monday, September 02, 2013 , , , 5 Comments

Hi Dear Daughter-in-law,

Hope this letter finds you in good place, shape and mind.

I also hope that you haven't met my son so far.  In case you haven't met him yet, then I want to assure you that he is in good place, ?shape and ?mind too.

Just for you to have an idea about his great mind, he is a great thinker for his age.  He was right next to me, when I titled this post and asked me innocently in Hamam style, "Daughter in law na yaaru ma?" (who is daughter-in-law?)  I replied, "un varungala pondatti" (your future wife). "Oh! You mean my "sister in law"?. I blinked.  "If she is your "daughter"-in-law, then she should be my "sister"-in-law". Ayyo ayyo ayyo.. mudila pa...

Wherever you are, please come soon. Not that I am trying to get rid of my son. He is nice, good looking, tall, fair, handsome and he is in his first year of college and spends 4 hours in travelling to college  and 6 hours in college and 6 hours sleeping.. The rest 8 hours he eats, watches TV, play games in laptop, mobile and eats some more and stay angry.

He got his own weird, twisted sense of humour, most of the times you don't get them and when you get them, you wish you didn't.

He has close to 2000 friends in his FB account and out of the 250 odd indian names, all other names sounds like korean/japanese/chinese. Whatever status he puts in FB, these Korean/Japanese/Chinese promptly likes them and they call themselves as Ma(a)nga something.

He calls everyone Machaan, I am losing count of the machaans and am worried if he means them literally.

I'd rather warn you beforehand to learn and play games, that way you can login from your laptop and he from his laptop and be part of the same multi player games and earn lots of lives and live happily for multiple lifetimes.

If you are a cleanliness freak, then maybe you should learn to ignore little things like the dry food plates collecting fungus lying next to him, a dozen pillows strewn around the room, and his go green, "let us not waste water" during weekends, by taking bath.

Well! all said and done, the bonus is you will get a husband, who will take you to movies everyday and watch English serials with you the rest. If you want to get his attention, try to get an audition with the BBT team and act in Big Bang Theory and I assure you, he will watch the episodes 3 or 4 times a day and you will be duly attended to.

He will not fight with you or hear you screaming as long as your voice crosses the alarming decibel limits. Most of the time, he has his ears plugged to some English music and hums loud.  Not to worry, I will ask him to buy you an earphone too, and you can plug it on as well.

If you are a health freak, then probably you should be less fussy again, as all his favourites consists of either cheese, butter or ghee and one word, no make it two words not in his dictionary are fat-free and sugar- free.

He enjoys his life the way he wants and if you mold your style to match his, welcome aboard.  I have an apartment ready for you guys and it's all yours with my blessings. What!?! No, No I won't move with you guys. What do you take me for? I am not that dumb to come between a young couple.  He is all yours!

Dying to meet you soon.

Your Husband's Mom

PS: Unlike other friends of yours, you won't have anything to complain against your mother-in-law.


Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard. Google

5 Candles:

good one viji.. i liked the part, where you said that learning to play video games and living a life through it-:)

Viji said...

Thanks devs :)

Viji said...

Thanks devs :)

good one di...wishes that you get a daughter in law who is in every way a match (i mean literally) for ani :)

Viji said...

ha ha seju :) Please let your words come true :D

wisdom comes with experience

At one, I learnt crawling was fun. At forty one, I still feel crawling is fun #blamemykneesnotme